Arbor and Esther
Arbor and Esther
“Arbor!”
“What?”
Esther and Arbor became friends when they were very young. One day they went to climb a tree and Arbor climbed to the very top. Afraid to get down, Arbor has lived in the tree ever since and Esther has lived on the ground. Esther went to school, played tennis for two years before accepting first trumpet in the marching band, and graduated with a 3.75 GPA.
Meanwhile, Arbor lived in a tree.
To pass time while Arbor was in the tree and Esther was on the ground, Arbor stuck their arm down and they arm wrestled. Somehow, Arbor was very strong and won every time.
“Arbor!”
“You sound excited. Don’t tell me you’re excited again.”
“Arbor, this isn’t like before. This is serious. I don’t have time to explain.”
“Oh, you’re not going to fucking explain?”
“Listen, I wouldn’t ask this if it wasn’t really important.”
“You want me to get down? Hell no.”
“Please!”
“Why are you so insistent?”
Esther went silent. Arbor didn’t trust their word.
“Listen, Arbor. This is the most stupefying thing I’ve ever seen, and I don’t want you to miss it.”
Arbor poked their head out from the leaves. Arbor’s nose was near Esther’s forehead, and they met eyes. Arbor took a deep breath. Esther smiled.
“No.” Arbor said.
So Esther decided to climb into the tree. They had never done it before, but they grabbed a branch, pulled up, and made it.
“So,” said Esther, “is this really where you’ve been spending all your time?”
Arbor was offended. They would not let Esther get away with their judgemental tone, and decided instead to show Esther all the great things about the tree.
First, they led Esther to the pillow room. It was lined from floor to ceiling with the softest, most comfortable pillows Esther had ever felt. They rolled along the walls and floor for a while.
“See? It’s stupefying” said Arbor.
“Oh, but not the most stupefying,” said Esther, “the thing I saw this morning is even better.”
“Really? And what was that?”
“I can’t tell you. You have to come down and see.”
That made Arbor angry. They left the pillow room and led Esther to the silent disco room. Arbor set a pair of headphones to the red channel and handed them to Esther, before grabbing a pair for themself. The room was lively, and because they were in a tree, all the other participants were squirrels. Esther had a great time and only left because they accidentally crowdsurfed all the way to the door.
Arbor was waiting with their headphones off.
“That was great,” said Esther.
“Stupefying, right?” said Arbor.
Esther took their headphones off. “Not as stupefying as the thing I saw this morning.”
Arbor was angry again. “Are you going to fucking tell me what it is already?”
“No. You have to come down and see.”
That made Arbor livid. After returning their headphones and leaving a small donation at the door, Arbor led Esther to the apple room. Because they were in a tree, the room was stocked with apple juice popsicles. Arbor and Esther each got a popsicle from the freezer, which they licked to exhaustion.
“I bet you don’t have these on the ground,” said Arbor.
“Actually we do, but these are still good,” said Esther.
“Oh yeah? Are apple juice popsicles the thing you wanted to show me?”
“Well, these are gagging, but the thing I wanted to show you is stupefying.”
Arbor dropped their popsicle stick. Esther had tasted the most stupefying thing to exist, and it was not enough. Arbor was no longer angry, but began to laugh.
“What the hell? Let’s fucking go outside,” they barely managed to say through laughter.
Arbor leaned out of the tree feet first, then dropped easily down. Esther followed. The ground was a lot like Arbor remembered it: a dark, quiet forest. Everything was cold and barren, and the ground was covered in sharp rocks.
“Esther, this is a little depressing,” Arbor said. “I already miss my tree.”
But Esther made Arbor walk away from the tree.
“Where is the thing you keep talking a—”
In front of Arbor and Esther stood a giant, very evil dragon. It breathed a stream of fire, and Arbor and Esther swung their heads back to stare at the flame. Then they looked back at the dragon, who began to swipe their foot on the ground, kicking dirt into the air.
“We’re going to die!” said Arbor.
“No, listen,” said Esther, “I thought if you were here, you would be able to fight it.”
“What?!”
“Because you’re so strong. You win every arm wrestling match.”
That was true. When the dragon began to charge, Arbor stood firm before it. They held out their arm, as if to arm wrestle.
The dragon did not get the memo and kicked Arbor into the air, higher than all the trees. As Arbor sailed, they looked toward their tree. When the tree was directly beneath them, they paused for a moment in the air, and Arbor closed their eyes and said a quick prayer.
But after that, Arbor kept sailing and landed on the ground behind the tree.
It was hopeless. The dragon was very powerful, and Arbor, despite the one skill they had honed for years, was not. Ahead, Esther was throwing sticks at the dragon. The dragon ignored these, saw Arbor lying on the ground, and began to charge again.
Arbor tried again. They got up and held both arms out, ready for a double arm wrestle.
The dragon kept charging. Arbor looked the dragon in the eyes, and the dragon stuck their tongue out and blew a raspberry at Arbor.
The dragon was two gallops away from Arbor when they suddenly stopped. They lifted their snout and began to sniff to the left, then sniff to the right. Then they sniffed to the left again. It was definitely coming from the left. The dragon followed their snout left, until they stopped, crouched down, and began to wiggle their hindquarters.
Esther and Arbor were silent. They looked at each other, then at the dragon’s wiggling butt. Out of curiosity, they began to follow the dragon.
To their surprise, Arbor and Esther found a mountain of carrot cake waffles. The dragon was nibbling on one. Arbor picked up a waffle and took a bite. It was delicious.
“How have I never had this before?” said Arbor, stupefied.
“Oh yeah. This is carrot cake. Carrots only grow in the ground,” said Esther.
“So you have apples down here, but I can’t have carrots up there?”
“Well, duh. Apples fall down. Have you ever seen a carrot fall up?”
Arbor couldn’t argue. Once they had both had their share of yummy waffles, Arbor decided the ground was worth living on after all. They stayed with Esther, lived happily, and never climbed any tree without getting back down.
THE END